Shell Shock.

The audiologist just gave us the news that no parent wants to hear: our child has moderate-severe hearing loss in both ears.

The next few minutes, or were they hours, pass in a blur of information.

He will need hearing aids. Is an excellent candidate for hearing aids. Likely won't have 'deaf speech' if we get treatment started as soon as possible. Will need hours of speech therapy. Someone from a foundation will be calling. We will need a speech language pathologist. It could worsen. It might not worsen. We will be referred to an ENT [ear nose throat specialist]. The audiologists do the fittings for hearing aids.

I am in shell shock.

I know deep down inside of me that this is happening. But part of me is in denial. Another part of me is thankful that this is the only issue. I know that he is here with us. He is happy. He appears to be otherwise healthy. We are lucky. We can do this.

But still I am in shell shock. Denial.

The cute little outfit I just had to show our SLP

The one good thing I remember from the time following his diagnosis is the speech language pathologist we had already worked with. Whom I had passed in the hall minutes before, quickly stopping to show her how big O had gotten and his cute little skeleton outfit, and had given the thumbs down to when she asked how the testing was going because I still couldn't speak it. She came in the room, and took our case.

Stole it might be a better word.

I'm pretty sure the audiologist I'm not a fan of was planning to have us work with a different SLP. But she came in and said, in no uncertain terms, she was going to be working with O.

I might still have been shell shocked at that point. But next time I see her I will be letter her know how grateful I am for that.

As I had spent the morning venting on twitter about the lack of bedside manner from the audiologist I took a quick minute to post an update. There was an outpouring of support, of DM's, of kind words. They helped alleviate the shell shock.

Little by little I started to come around. We can do this and we will do this because we must do this. We will do everything and anything we can to see to it O has every available opportunity. That he knows how loved he is, and how awesome he is, and how normal he is.